Relegated to the 3 a.m. time slot, Curling does not even get love during the Winter Olympics.
This makes no sense as it is a far cry more entertaining to watch than golf.
Hushed announcer provides description of green’s distance and wind resistance while we watch preppy golfer squatting on green in earnest conversation with slouchy-looking caddy. Golfer sets up, wiggles bum, steps back, sets up again, wiggles again, and finally swings. Camera pans to blue sky. Announcer insists the ball is flying through the air even if it’s not visually verifiable. Ball lands. Quiet clapping. Commercial.
The only way to stay awake through this is to be the golfer. Or, to hope the commercial is the one with the Geico Little Piggy Crying Wee-wee-wee All The Way Home.
Announcer in hushed voice describes the obscure strategy for sliding odd-looking “stone” into colored rings. Team of three parka-clad, beer-bellied players huddle on one end of the rink. Like an icy bowler practicing yoga, one hefty curler takes a few steps and releases the funky-looking stone, which goes sailing across the surface. Just when it begins to slow, two beefy teammates wield their curling brooms and begin “sweeping” like maniacal housekeepers to help the stone glide to its goal. The five fans in the stand cheer loudly. Commercial.
Huh. I’m not sure The Cupcake has made its case. Probably should have just announced the day and left it alone.
To those who curl: we support you! Even if we do not understand you. Or the game. That you pursue your passion in the face of our ignorance absolutely makes you and your sport cool.